Looking after your parents is harder than anyone tells you

Nobody trains for this. One day you are a son or a daughter and the next you are managing medication, bathing, money, doctors and a person who does not always want your help. It happens gradually enough that you never get to decide whether you agreed to it.

Caregivers come to us exhausted, and almost all of them apologise for being there. They say their parent has it worse. That is usually true, and it is beside the point.

What people bring to us

• Exhaustion that sleep no longer fixes
• Guilt — for being impatient, for wanting your own life, for considering a care home
• Anger at a parent who is ill, followed by shame at the anger
• Siblings who do nothing and still have opinions
• Grief for a parent who is still alive but no longer quite themselves
• Decisions nobody can make for you, about care, money and where your parent should live

How we help

Individual counselling, in person in Hyderabad or online, in Telugu, English or Hindi. Sessions are subsidised. You do not need your parent's permission and you do not need to bring them.

Caregiver support groups — a facilitated group of people in the same position. Most people find the first session is the first time anyone has understood the problem without explanation.

Practical guidance on dementia behaviour, care options and what to arrange before the next crisis.

Getting started

Call +91 99594 85500. Tell us briefly who you are caring for. Most of the calls we take come from adult children, not from the older person.